everywhere and nowhere and nowhere

Can I say I would make THE best posterchild for xanax?  Where do I begin, as that would require focus, which at this stage in the game is not a normalcy.

I will summarize…it is NOT a list, cause lists only make me feel inept so this is just a way to bulletize stuff:

• There is A LOT going on in hubbo’s professional life and locals know what I’m talking about…
• I’ve been sewing and teaching yoga and working towards my Yoga RYT and also trying to keep up with wash – I have failed terribly in the latter
• I saw New Moon and FINALLY all my friends are willing to concede WHY I am team werewolf…
• So far, this wonderful mirage of others that have bamboozled me into believing about kids turning three?  I want to track them all down…so far three is worse than two and this whole thing of “this too shall pass” isn’t happening…so stop tryin’

But the bigger picture puts all our little shizzle into foucus….

The Mid-Michigan Knitters Guild organized together again for some great knits for the 3rd annual Eli’s Knitting Preemie Drive which ALWAYS humbles me, because I can remember this time year three years ago...

They were still in NICU, Scrappy was in the midst of open heart surgery, and today they look like this:

s:

I really can’t complain…EVER!  Find your ONE reason that makes it ALL make sense even when it all seems so overwhelming…cause it really isn’t even…even when you think it does…

but I DO believe it has SOMETHING to do with good DUTCH stock!

It IS interesting that about half say they look more alike and half say they look less alike.  To us, they only share a birthday.

Scrappy (left in striped shirt) – right handed, engineeer, organized, clean, orderly, potty trained long ago, cuddly, serious, intense, blondish hair, no nap, intense, hard worker, intense, up early, animal lover and caretaker, intense…

Gangles (right in brown):  Left handed, sports, jokster, sleeper, jokster, artist,  jokster, nap, sleeps in, MUSIC, jokster, attention-seeker, will be potty-trained in grad school – maybe…

sweat shop closed for a day

I’ve been busy and swear to catch up, there was the big b-day, preemie drive, a yoga training, Thanksgiving, work, and kids…but here is why it’s been a little silent over here.

Detroit Hit and Run

Last weekend we survived the 3rd birthday party.  The number 3 is significant in that what has allowed me to survive the past year is the hope that when they magically turn 3 that temper tantrums would be replaced with statements of “how can I help you mama?”, “mama, I will wait for you outside of a closed bathroom door until you have gone potty and showered”, “of course I will brush my teeth and head to bed without incident, mama”, “my brother is my best friend and I love to share with him”, etc.  For those who can muster a guess as to how this hope has come to fruition, please shut it!

For those of you who are local, I gotta tell you a great place to have a kids bday party - The Impression 5 Science Museum.  We have a family membership which pays for itself just in 2 visits and then there are discounts with parties and other special events.  Of course the biggest benefit was that it was not at our house which meant no stress of cleaning but the other benefits were that the kids had the party room for cake and gifts and then full access to the entire museum to romp and play as well as a science lab workshop for party goers.  We choose to make slime and all the kids, young and old, had a great time.

For over a week, Ive been looking forward to my own playdate with my sewing sensei, Amby for a secret squirrel project which will be unveiled hopefully by Jan 1.  The drive was delightful as I cruised across state listening to NPR, sipping coffee and enjoying the quiet in my 1995 Pathfinder that has as many rust as paint spots but still runs.  I made my exit and was within 10 minutes of my destination, waiting at the light on the overpass, I felt a big bump.

My first thought was that Pathy lost another part and I was hoping it was not the engine.  Because although there are lots of missing parts to Pathy, none have made him undriveable.  But it wasn’t the engine.

I was hit…

Upon pulling off, Pathy had no damage except he may have dusted some of his rust glitters on the street.  The other car was less lucky.  Her nice shiny brand new car had a hood essentially bent in half.  I immediately contacted the police and after 5 minutes, I was able to figure out where I was.  The driver came out without asking me if I was ok or even to apologize.  She then noticed there was no damage to my car and stood in the way of her license plate when I attempted to get the number.  I was on the phone with Amby to alert her that I was going to be a wee late as my welcome wagon gift was a nice rear-ending (and not in a good way).  I was then informed by the driver that I had an attitude when I informed her that the police were on their way.  She told me she had to get to work of which I replied that she had hit me and I had not planned on spending my morning on a highway overpass after being hit at a light.  But I guess that means ATTITUDE to the eastside.

Within a few more minutes wait, the police arrived. But before they pulled in..

she drove off.

I waited while the Sgt. made a report and upon running her plate and verifying her description with me, he asked where she had turned.  He then made some calls.  I was informed she had a warrant.

I love you Detroit.

The Sgt. was friendly and apologized for my introduction to his fair city.  Of course this was after he attempted to open the passenger side door to hand me the report only to notice that Pathy no longer has a handle on that side. Different story, different day but please understand that if you are passenger in Pathy that you will be required to crawl through a window that only opens halfway.  Oh, and a separate key is required to open this door and it may or may not work and it may or may not set off a car alarm that was disabled a couple years ago.

But Amby took care of me and within 10 minutes of my arrival I was enjoying a nice meal and a glass of Pinot Grigio.

Our visit involved fabric shopping, sewing, and a sushi dinner meet up with other Eastside peeps.

After a productive day, the evening was spent knitting and enjoying good company.  I don’t remember very much after Amby’s hubby mixed me a cocktail, but I did sleep very well.  Thanks for a great time!

men and knits

I’ve been married for 6 years.

Each year I tell hubby to select a Christmas sweater and each year it becomes the equivalent of a souffle – a delicate procedure that involves so many stars in the right line and no sudden movements to be successful that it becomes scrapped for a crockpot meal (not that there is anything wrong with that).

A knitter’s crockpot meal equals a scarf or a hat.  Easy, can sit on warm for long lengths of time, and can’t be burned and requires minimal chef/knitter preparation.  Last year, I thought it was gonna happen with the Cobblestone Sweater…but that yoke on a couple Raverly peeps who were made for men who didn’t look like hubby put that in the scrap pile.

Hello another scarf.

Then I found a very nice cabled number that I KNEW he would love and even went on a mad search of a discontinued pattern and paid extra cash ’cause hubbo was gonna be worth this handknit,

but then he saw the model.

And the model was too pretty.  I even tried to cover the model’s head when I showed the pic, knowing this was the possible reaction.  But hubbo saw the head, the too pretty head and,

it was dashed.

The dissonance for me is beyond comprehension because this is the same man who would kill me if I’d announce he loves Project Runway (he set up the DVR for this season) and can do THE best Tim Gunn impression EVER!!!  He is also someone who critiques other’s wardrobes for clean lines and color and texture that POPS!.

Looking through his sweater wardrobe of sweaters that he wears, a lot.

I found ribbing.

Lots of ribbing.

I think he likes ribbing because when we met, he told me his weight was like Oprah, “I’m all over the place with my weight”.

Ribbing is forgiving, but is also makes a nice developed chest look manly, and it can move with those “not so light days”.

He picked a nice ribbed sweater last year but it was in DK weight yarn.  I told them if he could commit to a weight, I would consider it.

Moving along….

About a month ago, I messaged him a link to a ribbed sweater, in bulky weight yarn that was soft.  He texted me back and told he didn’t like it….

HE LOVED IT!!!!

My first sweater for him was the Einstein Jacket in grey Lambs Pride Bulky and he wore it twice..to make me feel good.

He later confessed it was too hot and frankly this was in my pre-finishing days and my finishing…

sucked.

He never wore again so I considered frogging it for this other sweater, but then I explained to him that the dark grey may not show the ribbing really well, and he informed me he had his heart set on Oatmeal.

Oatmeal???  This guy had his specs in mind.

So I swatched. And I have been ribbing…ribbing, ribbing….

A 48″ chest in k4, p2 ribbing is extreme but somewhat do-able, even with  232 sts on a needle.  But then it switches to k1, p1 for 16″.  Oy!  I would kill for miles of stockinette. But,

yesterday, he saw it in progress in between pre-school pumpkin patch and nature trail hike field trips and such and said, “that looks nice”.

So, I will soldier up, and keep ribbing.

Yoga classes are popping and I’m enjoying it so so much….I love my students and enjoy their feedback and comments, and their gratitude.  Their decision to share their practice with my own, is such an experience.

and, knitting all this ribbing,

in the bigger scheme of a vision of a man who has deserved a handknit for over  6 years,

is pretty small….

in the broad scheme of things.

A Looooong Year

The last 365 summed up in 7 minutes.

Please, Just Get Out Of My Grill For 2 seconds!

Yes, the title of this post was indeed a statement that fell from my mouth…at 9am.  If it’s 9am and I am already attempting to create a little biosphere of 2 inches of personal space, I knew I was in for a long day. 

Every day I wonder about these women I see at the grocery store or out and about.  They are showered, nails, hair, and makeup done and I’m pretty sure they are sporting clean underwear.  They look rested.  I just don’t get how they do it?  I have to shower at night after the boys go to bed and in the last 2 weeks, they have become like feral children so I can’t really remember if I showered last night.  And every day, my to do list is to call the dentist for a cleaning.  I’m obsessive about clean teeth and I could never understand how people could go to sleep without brushing their teeth..I am now one of them.  I thought the beauty of having twins was that they have a constant playmate….why are they constantly wondering what I am doing…and insist on helping and not in a helpful way.

Yesterday, Scrappy “helped” Papa go potty by tearing off squares of toilet tissue as he asked “what are you doing Papa???  Papa are you pooping????”

Two weeks ago, they decided they wanted to share a room.  Pros and Cons.  Pro:  Scrappy isn’t getting up during the night as much and is sleeping later in the morning than his usual 5:30am.  Con: Jumping on the bed, wrestling, and doing somersaults and flips off the bed has substituted singing to sleep.  We are still in a trial phase and I find it so interesting why two boys who can fight over a cheerio on the floor want to sleep in the same room.  And that is probably the answer to my question…stop trying to understand the brain activity of a small feral boy and/or boys.

My mom has had a slower road to recovery than expected and had to undergo a couple extra procedures to get her heart back into rhythm.  Dad is a handful and as soon as mom is well enough, she will be having a little come to Jesus meeting about creating a man who relies on someone to pour his bowl of cereal.  My sister and I have had wonderful discussions and debates about if 2 toddler or 2 older parents are harder.   But nothing was better than her comments about my knitting while mom was having surgery.

“what are those???  (in reference to dpns, needle/gauge, stitch markers, circular needles, etc)

“why do knitters have so many things and gadgets?”

“I understand how spiders make webs now.  They have 8 legs moving and knitting and you have two circular needles and wires and sticks everywhere.  Like a spider”

“OMG!!!!  That actually looks like a REAL sleeve!!!”  And begins to tell this to every person in the room.

“I still can’t get over that you can make actual wearable garments out of some sticks and yarn.”

And so, dear sister, here is a real live person wearing an actual wearable knitted sweater jacket:

 

If you think he is cute, let me just add that he threw a wooden puzzle so hard in a fit of rage that he put a hole in the closet door.  And so the “If You Don’t Stop That, You’re Going To Military School!” Military Cardigan Jacket was born.

Test Knitting Anyone? Anyone?

Although I am in the beginning stages for the “if you don’t stop #%^$# throwing that, you’re going to military school” military knit cardigan, I’m on the prowl for some test knitters.  I can’t compensate monetary wise for your time but can give you a huge bucket o’ gratitude and you get a snazzy new pattern for free and a handknit that will look groovy on a kid.  It’s a cardigan (duh) in worsted weight for child sizing 2-12.  I hope to have the pattern written up by Novemberish for the test knitting phase.  If you are willing and interested, please e-mail me at reddogknitsATgmailDOTcom.

When life gives you lemons….

Donegal, my lovely green laptop, that replaced my former laptop which also had a halted demise way before a full lifespan (and never obtained a name, it was that short) which replaced a former laptop that I ran over..

twice

has met the wrath of toddler who felt it necessary to throw you with its ac power cord attached and rip your motherboard to another motherland.  RIP.  Note to self…buy extended warranty service plan.

My response to said toddler resulted in threats of military school, looking up minimum age requirements for military school, and do you have to be completely potty trained as a criteria for admittance. 

But, the $500 plus incident done spuntailed me out of my knitter design block funk.  I am swatching for what will be titled “If you don’t %$#@ stop throwing that, you are going to military school” military knit cardigan.  And for the record, dear knit pockets, you don’t scare me…

maybe just a little.

The summer has been filled with my 20th reunion in which I was able to catch up with an old friend.

work, day trips,

a first date for the boys that Gangles appeared to enjoy,

 and what I have deemed “the year of the hat”.

and my newest free pattern – Hollandpeno

. 

I also completed something I’ve been wanting to do for awhile – a triathlon.  I kicked butt on swimming and running but riding a 20 year old moutain bike and being passed by an 80 year old is a bit daunting.  I’ll be bike shopping this winter because I’m hooked.

Did some toddler sock knitting per requests,

and a contribution to the Mid-Michigan Guild’s annual preemie knitting drive in memory of Elija:

Ms. Amby also graced me with her presence and to bitch slap my serger – which made an awesome large box bag and we may have also shown a wine bottle(s) who was boss.

My mom is scheduled for quadruple bypass surgery on Friday so worry knitting a la military cardigan will commence. 

And to the reader (s?) who are out there, thanks for tuning in.

I’ll take your downward facing dog and raise you one cobra

Our summer cultural festival tour landed us at Cristo Rey

hello furrowed brows

and smack in the middle of a long outdoor mass…a long…bilingual mass.

In so doing, we helped our children utilize their cross-cultural cheap hollander skills and hit up the vendors for free food.

We’ve done a lot of farming and have had several discussions as to why their crops are not ready to harvest two days after planting seeds.

Lots of bike riding.

and potty training.

Oy.

I have calculated that the amount of time I spend getting them both on and off and rewarded and singing and clapping and potty songs and dances, I could have knit a shawl using toothpicks and cobweb yarn…

to cover my house.

Which is why I have not knit a stitch in weeks. 

But I have done some sewing for my new career direction, hint number one:

and my first practice student:

two tatoos = 2 days of successful potty

Im gonna take a couple months off folks…enjoy your summer!

May Giveaway Day Winners

Comments are now closed for the May Giveaway and the random generator pulled numbers 28 and 65.

So….

Sally and Mel are winners – check your e-mails for the pdf of the pattern in the next day or so.